I had been looking forward to my 30th birthday for several years. It was supposed to be simple, filled with my friends and maybe a boyfriend/husband and all of us gathered around a picnic table playing games and laughing.
In reality, I had just been passive aggressively kicked out of my parent’s apartment. I was then moving to a new area, once again. I had to say good-bye to my fellow teachers, students and parents. I had to leave my awesome martial arts group and coaches. And to top it off my boyfriend/potential husband and I just had a fight, where he chose to walk away.
My actual birthday found me waking up by myself in an almost empty apartment, everything in boxes. I had two girl friends from work that I begged and bribed to come over and help me load into a u-haul. I had a Coach meeting me at the new place to help me unload, who awkwardly tried to kiss me before he left. I found myself sitting in the back of the u-haul trying not to burst into tears as a shook my head and said, “Well Happy Birthday to me” and then starting giggling uncontrollably at what my life had become.
I started thinking, in the last decade, I have moved 16 times, in three different states. I have completed a little over a year of college, tried enrolling a few other times to finish but life and moving got in the way. I have had 4 different guys tell me that I am pretty and that they want to marry me, and I believed them, yet I find myself still single. I came to the realization that I no longer know who I am.
I am on a mission to re-discover myself. Nothing so trivial as what I like and do not like. (I love chocolate and yummy foods and do not like eating my veggies) My goal is to find direction and purpose, finding a passion that I want to work towards to achieve. Julie and Julia, a wonderful movie about the life of and blogging through Julia Child’s cookbook has inspired me to blog my own journey of rediscovery. I will take a year to blog my adventures and ambitions. And by my 31st Birthday I shall have a proper party full of those who love me and we will play games and laugh the whole night through.
As I was listening to music and un-packing, there’s a song that Glee did a cover on (yes the hit show Glee is a guilty pleasure of mine) called Roots before Branches. I stopped what I was doing and just soaked up the lyrics of that song. The thing is I’m not the only one in this situation. There are heaps of grown-ups out there that are stuck in a rut too. So here is to the grown up life, here is to being an adult with little income even though we work like crazy, here is to the average American trying to live out their dreams!