The biggest lie that we probably ever say is that little two –word sentence, “I’m fine.” This is a passive way of saying the opposite—basically meaning that everything is the exact opposite of fine. “I am surviving” may be a better way of saying that everything is fine. Or, “I am alive and breathing” could also be substituted and have the same result.
There are many ups and downs in my life, similar to riding a roller coaster. Then there are those moments when I am not sure if I am upside down or right side up—everything is most definitely not fine.
Someone wise once told me that everything is not okay, BUT THAT is okay. Everything does not always have to be okay for us to be okay too.
In today’s life, especially here in America, we are great with upgrades and instant self-satisfaction. If we are not fine we can quickly find a distraction or a band-aid of sorts to make everything fine again.
We are so quick to give advice like, “Everything will work out,” or “You’ll make it through, don’t worry,” or my favorite, “Everything happens for a reason—it’s just a season…” (insert eye-roll here…)
Sometimes, everything is not fine. AND THAT IS OKAY.
We all go through difficult times, at different times, different degrees and different dynamics.
This is called character building.
It Is Okay That It Is Not Okay.
I grow in the moments when fear grips my heart. I grow in the moments when my world makes the least sense. I grow in character, valor and faith when I am at the heart of the battle.
The key is to be okay that I am not fine. Acknowledging that this situation is not fine and is outside my control is the first step to moving forward. We are tried by fire, “…I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”*
Sometimes letting everything not be fine is exactly the right step to take. Then I can evaluate why it is not okay and I can see what exactly is not working. There is much to be said about evaluating a situation before taking action.
Also this gives time for my emotions, my heart and my mind to fully process what is going on and how to properly react.
Through brokenness there can be healing; through healing we can find new beginnings.
Here is to the grown-ups who are not fine—may we heal through uncertain “not fine” times!
*Isaiah 48:10 esv
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