Whenever I have done something awesome I run off and find someone to tell. If possible I drag them over to have my own show and tell. I show off a new necklace that I have beaded, a new furniture arrangement in my room, a new hairstyle or even a new kickboxing stand. If I have put something together (usually in a creative sense) I want to show it off!
But I find myself unusually quiet when it comes to an intellectual side of things. If when job hunting or adult-ing situations come up I will confide only in a handful of people, registering barely above a whisper. Even on this blog site, I have only whispered about upcoming opportunities.
Partially, because those situations are not a done deal.
Partially, because it seems wise to hold those cards to my chest until I am sure of my next move.
But mostly, because I have grown up with the impression that what I am most proud of will be a disappointment—that it’s not good enough—that I should be something/someone else.
There is a singing competition show called “The Voice.” I can only watch the auditions and maybe a few rounds, I just get so invested into the singers working towards their dreams. My favorite part is watching their family’s reactions, I get chills and teary-eyed every time. Building a life in the arts is a tricky business—heaps of work with little recognition and little to live on. But their families are there in absolute support, helping them work towards their dream.
If one does not naturally have this support system, it is easy to feel like a failure. It is easy to get discouraged because instead of having people tell me that they love me and are proud of me, I am told that I am not enough.
To be proud of someone would mean to love them no matter what. You are proud of them because they matter to you. Now, there is something to be said for tough love, prodding the little bird to jump and try out their wings. But there is also nurturing and care. How can one grow with confidence if one has only judgment to stand upon?
Please—take the time to hear my heart, see my soul and touch my life.
Please—be proud of me just for being me.
Take joy in knowing that I am growing and learning more and more each passing day.
*This post has been tricky. I am having an inner battle about having someone be proud of me vs. having pride in myself. But I believe these are two different things entirely. We all want someone to be genuinely proud of us, even when we are down. Every child wants their parents to be proud of them. There is strength recognized when someone is genuinely proud of us.
Here’s to ALL the grown-ups out there—may we take pride in being ourselves and pursuing our dreams! May others notice our joy and be proud too!
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