How does one win at adulting? These days there are many obstacles to overcome—job hunting, increase of expensive, long-lasting relationships, making it through Monday at the DMV…etc. Adulting in this era is the trickiest it has ever been. But adulting can be won, I have faith that we will all make it. I have learned, however, that there is no rhyme or reason or rules. Every person must discover themselves and their own path in their own way and in their own time. But with that said, here are a few key points that I have learned along the way, perhaps they will help or inspire you on your journey.
I have a strong opinion that community is important. We live in a world that is individualized. We think we can do it on our own, proving to the world that we made it to the top. But I believe that we need one another. In many TV shows and movies, a group of friends will rally together to create happy endings for their friends. There was an NCIS episode where Tony’s dad is trying to make amends with his son, there were complications but the team rallies together to bring the two back together. In the show Friends, they had fights or breakups, they lost jobs or got promoted, moving through life with their friends—their community—as their support. Now I’ve moved around so many times, I’m not sure if this plays out in real life or is this just the way Hollywood makes out friends to be, but I would love to have a community that helps bring happy endings to each other.
There is such a thing as taking the time to get established. Sometimes life does not go as planned (sometimes this is a frequent issue.) Everything is not always okay and that is okay. Occasionally, I will cry over the life I hoped for, grieving for the losses, then I’ll wash my face and embrace the life that I do have, taking one step at a time to move forward.* Life is not always figureoutable, and it’s okay to be down for a second to figure out the next move.
Keeping perspectives as a Perspective and reality as Truth. In a social issues class a professor held up a BLACK book and said, “This book is RED.” The students answered, “No.” And he said, “Yes, it is.” The students answered, “That’s not right, the book is BLACK.” The professor then turned the book around and the Back Cover was Red and he said, “Don’t tell somebody they’re wrong until you’ve seen things from their point of view.”*
Commitment. Commitment to the task at hand, being stubborn and dedicated to see–not success–but the process of moving forward. Commitment to oneself, knowing the road ahead will be difficult, knowing there will be times when everything falls apart, knowing there will be times when giving up seems easier–but choosing to be a comeback kid, staying true to oneself. Commitment to one another, always stay humble and kind. Years ago, back when there were newspapers, there was a printed story about a 100 yard race with young children. One of the kids tripped and fell about halfway through, without a word to each other, all the children stopped and ran back together. They helped up the child who fell, put his arms around their shoulders and they all walked across the finish line together. All of us trip up at one point, let’s stay committed to seeing each other through the race of adulthood.
There will be obstacles. There will be doubters. There will be mistakes. But with hard work, one foot in front of the other, hour by hour—we will make it.
Here’s to winning at adulthood!
*A quote taken from the talented John Piper
*A story that I came across while browsing facebook, an author was not mentioned, but would love to give credit where it is due.
***Follow me on Facebook and Instagram @heres2grownups for random blurbs and post updates. I will–hopefully–be posting a blog every Monday and Thursday! Feel free to comment and tell me your story. Also if anyone is on good terms with Ellen Degeneres, I’d love to get noticed by her!