Guess what boxes, tape and sharpies have in common? Me! Yep, I am moving and once again it wasn’t really in my plans haha! (at this point, I’m surprised I don’t have nightmares about boxes…) Move number nineteen (and a half—story for another time) here we go!
I am staying in town, for those who are wondering, just headed to a new apartment—and it even has a washer/dryer!
So why the sudden move? The answer of course is complicated. I will say that the people that I did business with tried to do something sneaky, which had me scrambling for advice and seeking legal council. My biggest issue was the dishonest way that I found out, I have trust issues as it is, and I don’t want to do business with people who would do such a thing. Perhaps that doesn’t really make a lot of sense, and that’s okay.
Let me see if I can untangle my thoughts…
Starting with one of the biggest lessons that I have learned over the years, is putting up healthy boundaries—and how to put up healthy boundaries such as; I am allowed to stand up for myself and not be manipulated. Now, to the manipulators that will look as though I am the crazy one with the problem. So how do we determine if we are at fault ourselves or if we are being manipulated? One of the biggest tell tale signs is that I am trying to untangle facts and emotions; I am trying to decipher if it was my fault. Those persons/people who are manipulators will never doubt themselves, they only see their side of the story and they are always “right”–well, in their version of the story, they are right.
But the flip side to that, is that we are all the “bad guys” in someone else’s story, right? There’s no changing that, someone (or someones) has a side of the story that isn’t in our best interest—a true representation as to who we are, same goes for the “bad guys” in my story—my interaction with them did not go well, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I know them.
There’s that fact that it takes two people to argue—both are at fault (there are of course exceptions to this.) I’ve said this before and I will say it again, I believe that there are several sides to every story than just the two opposing views. God only knows what transpires, then each person has their version, but with each re-telling the story seems to alter a bit.
Therefore, there are no winners in a disagreement—only a damaged relationship.
One of my weaknesses is to doubt myself too much, wondering if I am the problem—is it me? (This trait does not bode well with overthinkers ha!)
However, I love when I can repair those relationships (shouldn’t that be our goal as a people living on one planet?) Sometimes, I can’t seem to reach the person that I’ve had an argument with and this is another place to use healthy boundaries, I want to leave with a peaceful understanding of sorts, if the relationship can’t be repaired, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen like that—and sometimes my own hurt won’t let it happen like that.
“When someone has a problem with you and they don’t come to you with it, it’s not your problem. Because if they had a problem and they cared about that relationship they would come to you to solve it. And then it turns into a “we” problem—let’s figure it out. But if they don’t come to you with that issue that’s on them, that’s their problem. There’s nothing you can do about that.”*
Anyone else go to youth group where they talked about the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self control) where those people who have good intentions will show these in their daily life? It really goes back to actions—actions speak louder than words.
“The best thing you can do is pay attention to what people do and less about what they say…I almost never listen to what people say—it helps me understand them. So I’ll listen to understand their framework and how they look at their world. But I don’t make decisions on them based on what they tell me. I make decisions on them based on what they do.”*
Thank God for good neighbors! I ran into my neighbors today (as I was carrying way too many boxes inside, because who needs two trips?) and they were so sad to hear that I am moving, that filled my heart with encouragement. I often over think or am too hard on myself wondering if I am the problem, but I do believe that God brought me those sweet ladies to encourage my spirit and I shall miss them dearly!
I have not perfected any of the Spirit’s attributes. Most days I am a hot mess and some days even a spicy disaster haha! But, I want to be the kind of neighbor or friend that people will miss when I inevitably move again.
Here’s to my fellow overthinkers—May we find our group of people who love us unconditionally!
~Adalaide Green @Copyright 2022 Posting Regularly on Thursdays
*This photo is just me being crushed by boxes, but no worries—it’s all good! *Credit to Ashley Michelle Lester for posting reel *Credit to Tanner LaTera for posting reel.
Adalaide Green is the author of the Heres2grownups blog. She grew up as a small town girl originally from Colorado, used to reside in Southern California, but is now settled back into her hometown in Colorado—and has been Here and There and Everywhere-in-Between. Surviving the adult everyday life, single and in the thirties club, she writes of her adventures in hopes to encourage fellow grown-ups while battling heartbreak, dating scenes, paying bills with no money, making friends who have no time for get-togethers, and trying to find her place in this world! Follow Adalaide Green on Facebook or Instagram @adalaide_green for laughs, giggles and encouraging memes! Here’s to growing up in this crazy world!
heres2grownups.wordpress.com 